A Dog without Defect

John is a big Nero Wolfe fan, having read many of the novels, and now we own the DVD series from A&E. Nero Wolfe is a genius private detective in NYC ca. 1940s-50s. Archie Goodwin is Nero’s right hand man, smart in the ways that Nero is not. This series was written by a man named Rex Stout. I have no idea if that was a pen name or not, but given the names of the author and the genius detective, you have a clue about the men in the stories. Nero cannot stand an hysterical (aka crying) woman. It’s really a pretty funny series, with great clothes and lots of cars with chrome.

We were watching an episode last night, “Die Like a Dog” where a dog follows Archie home. He thinks it will annoy Wolfe, but Wolfe warms to the dog immediately and begins to wax nostalgic about a dog he had as a boy. Now, do you remember your first beloved pet? Maybe it was a dog…loyal, true, stinky, slept on your bed, whatever. Maybe it was a cat…furry, soft, full of personality, etc. Perhaps you get a little wistful when you think of this pet, remembering how much you liked it. But Nero Wolfe? The man is not capable of wist. To describe his beloved boyhood dog, he says, “I don’t recall the dog having a defect.”

And that is the difference between Nero and everyone else. While most of us find our pets’ quirks endearing, the best Nero can do is to note a lack of defects. Pfui.